


Death smiles at us, All we can do is smile back.

by MikaGesshoku



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, South Park
Genre: Author throws canon out the window, Gen, Less a story more random Headcannons, MoD Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 20:41:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18147176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikaGesshoku/pseuds/MikaGesshoku
Summary: After the war Harry is stuck in a rut, until Death asks him to investigate a kid who just won't stay dead.





	Death smiles at us, All we can do is smile back.

**Author's Note:**

> This story went through no editing. I had to post it before I lost my nerve and it sat in my WIP folder for another five years or got lost. I was heavily inspired by LullabyKnell's five plus headcannons fics and the story is somewhat a random stream of consciousness.

1\. In which how Harry handled the Hallows has consequences, for him.

Apparently gathering the Hallows was not the requirement to become the Master of Death, not wanting the title was. Harry, who was perfectly happy to become a recluse after the final battle was quite vexed to find that no matter what he did the Elder Wand and Resurrection Stone would end up back in his possession. His irritation only increased when he discovered that the title was more a way of saying that he was now officially the Avatar of Deaths personal venting buddy and occasional assistant. Look Death never expected anyone to actually gather all three items and hadn't quite thought through what she would do if someone actually did gather them, she's kind of making it up as she goes here. 

Surprisingly this works out rather well for Harry. He gets a source of knowledge on rare and esoteric magic in the form of the oddly perky Death Avatar, immunity from all poisons and diseases, and the ability to only be killed by old age. Plus he can talk to his parents, Sirius, and Remus whenever he wants. Sure he has to hide the fact that he still possesses the Elder Wand, and he occasionally has to go on crazy adventures to track someone or something down for Death, but its not as bad a deal as he thought it would be. 

2\. Harry is a little lost after the war. This starts everything.

Contrary to popular opinion he does not really want to go into the Auror Corps. He mainly said that to piss off Umbridge and because he had no better ideas at the time. He doesn't know what he wants to do but he's really done with the fighting. He did go back for his seventh year of Hogwarts when it reopened, just so he could say he graduated, but after that he was at a bit of a loss. His friends know he's not happy but don't quite know what to do about it aside from making sure he doesn't become a complete hermit and just lock himself in Grimmauld Place. It's not that his relationship with any of the Weasleys, Hermione, Neville, or Luna soured, its just that he never really expected to survive the war in the first place and never really planned for what to do after. 

In fact Death finds the answer completely by accident one day when she mentions this kid in a backwater American town that won't stay dead. Harry practically jumped on the chance to get away for a bit and investigate.

3\. Their first impressions of the situation were not all that great.

Even for someone who spent a good majority of their adolescence around magic and the literal Avatar of Death South Park was weird. A good chunk of the children were magical and had somehow been missed by the nearest magical school. The town was largely apathetic about anything strange that happened within its confines, and there was a lot of strange happenings in town. 

According to the local magical authorities South Park sat on some sort of magical nexus that made any form of magical communication impossible, so in the grand tradition of Magicals lacking common sense the government decided that the town was a dead zone and any children displaying signs of magic within it were effectively non-existent. In fact, any instances of magic performed in the town would be chalked up to its normal weirdness and thus would be completely ignored by any government sensors. Harry could do pretty much anything in South Park and the magical government would leave him alone.

4\. The kid they came to investigate gave them mixed feelings.

Neither Harry nor Death expected the situation to be due to anything that Kenny himself had done wrong. He was still a child and according to Death still had a relatively pure soul. But the situation surrounding him was just bizarre. Not only would he die, often multiple times a day, but no one who witnessed his deaths would remember a thing about it after the fact. The situation was getting so bad the creatures Death used to reap souls when she couldn't collect them personally were using the poor kid as a messed up hazing ritual and getting brutally creative in how they killed him. A fact that Death and Harry were both extremely displeased about. 

To add insult to injury the kid had a life that was already worse than Harry's and he was only 11, Worse off than the Weasleys, Parents that were at best neglectful, friends that were either self-absorbed or outright toxic, and a younger sister to who he was the only source of safety. Plus he seemed to know when one of Death's minions was going to be up to their shenanigans, and was aware of how and how often he died.

5\. The answer to Kenny's constant deaths and rebirths should not have been possible.

Apparently when you mix a town that is on a literal nexus for the weird and unusual, a sister to whom the person in question is the only source of safety and decent care, two powerful first generation magicals, and a tragic childhood accident you get the situation that Kenny McCormick found himself in. 

It goes like this, Kenny and Karen were born to a line of squibs so long that they were practically first generation magicals, and they were both extremely powerful. So powerful that when Kenny died saving Karen as very young children her magic was able to mix with the natural energies of the nexus South Park was built on and bring him back. Normally this wouldn't have been a problem, Death's minions would have just killed him again to correct the issue. However Kenny was seemingly the only person in Karen's life that gave a damn about her and given their utterly abysmal home life her magic kept bringing him back when the minions tried. And so Kenny got caught in a vicious cycle.

On Kenny's end of things he was aware that the various people in the town, most especially his friends, would not be able to handle the fact that he was constantly dying, often in horrific ways, and so his accidental magic was obliviating them every time that it happened.

6\. It's Harry who comes up with the answer. To more than one problem.

Fact 1: Kenny's problem is being caused by out of control accidental magic. Fact 2: There are a host of magical children who are not being taught how to control their gifts because the magical government does not acknowledge they exist. Fact 3: Harry is a pretty decent teacher when he puts his mind to it, has a fortune that he is not currently using, and no idea what to do with his life. To him the answer is simple, open a magic school in South Park.

It's a pretty handy solution to the issues, one that even Death is reluctantly impressed by. If Karen gets control of her accidental magic she won't be able to bring Kenny back to life. As an added bonus, training the rest of the magical kids in this town will keep something like this from happening again and give Harry something to do when she doesn't need him. 

7\. They both end up getting attached.

Of course the school only actually solves part of the issue. To start with Karen is too young for any sort of formal magical schooling, and she won't be ready to go to the school or even take private lessons for a few years. Kenny himself was barely old enough to start formal magical schooling. Then there was the fact that Harry at least, could not in good conscience allow Kenny to die permanently until both he and Kenny were sure that Karen would be taken care of properly afterwards.

It certainly didn't help matters that when Death and Harry confront Kenny about the issue he is depressingly resigned to what needs to happen. In fact he's more relieved to finally have a proper explanation about what was happening and worried about his sister than anything. It's his resignation to the situation, and his help in explaining magic to the other magical children in town that draws Harry to him, The-man-with-too-many-titles is certainly not going to let another child go through anything similar to his own shitty childhood if he can help it, and Kenny hasn't really gotten a chance to live properly due to all the constant dying. 

Death is, of course, not too happy that her assistant is getting attached to a child that they both know is going to die permanently as soon as his sister learns to control her own magic. It's not until Kenny admits that he is not afraid of dying young and honestly means it that she gets attached herself. There is a slight panic when both Harry and Death realize that they don't want Kenny to die and what exactly they are going to do about this.

8\. In the End both Harry and Kenny end up being Master of Death.

For Harry this means that he won't need to watch Kenny die young and has someone who understands the insanity of his new home and his life. For Kenny this means he gets the chance to live his life without dying constantly and can ensure that Karen is taken care of properly. As Death explains it Harry will essentially be training Kenny to take his place as her traveling assistant so that he can focus on his new school and making sure this never happens again. As a bonus when Kenny does die for good he will act as a permanent assistant and temporary replacement for Death should she need a break from her duties, she's been doing the same thing for centuries on end she is long overdue for a vacation thank you very much.

Kenny and Karen end up spending so much time over at Harry's new house that everyone just assumes that Harry has formally adopted them and that suits everyone in the house just fine. The McCormick kids are hardly the only ones that spend more time at Harry's house learning magic than at home when they aren't in regular school. And Harry makes it clear that any of the kids whose parents don't take their magical abilities all that well are welcome to stay with him or ask him for help.


End file.
